“You have to see it from my point of view,” she said. “You are a little late, aren’t you! I was only supposed to be asleep for a hundred years. I went to sleep in this bucolic dream of meadows, farmland and castles when I touched that spindle and I wake up in, what kind of nightmare is this? A global pandemic? A polluted planet and climate change no one’s doing anything about. The Queen here isn’t really in charge; there’s a ‘government’ and they’re all always arguing with each other.”
She paused for breath and shook out long blonde hair, wide sleeves falling back to reveal chunky arms. With her full hourglass figure, she looked marshmallow soft, pink and white in the loosely draped robes.
“And another thing,” she said, “I was considered a beauty back then. I mean, really gorgeous. I have all the skills to manage a kingdom of knights, farmers, wandering pedlars and musicians, woodcutters, witches and fairies, even the occasional dragon. And the kind of man I find attractive has nice legs, courtly manners, wears a lot of velvet and leather, recites poetry and can dance.”
She looked at the screen of the laptop she’d been using to learn about the times she’d woken up in.
“I mean, look at you!. What is that you’re wearing? I can’t actually see whether you have a shapely leg or not. Why are your trousers halfway down your hips? What on Earth is that on your head? Is it meant to be that way round? The semicircular gap in the middle of your forehead looks most strange.”
She waved a languid hand. “The dancing I’ve seen looks more like convulsions. I just don’t think I’m going to fit in. It’s not even as if I can go to the hairdresser or the gym, is it?”
She selected a chocolate from the box he’d brought her.
“Mmm. I quite like these though. And Prosecco. Can I have some more? And then I think I’d like to go back to sleep for a bit longer, please.” She eyed the soft pile of cotton sheets and feather pillows beside her. “I really don’t see the point in getting up now. Leave it a bit. It’s always possible things might look a bit better when I next wake up.” She pulled the new feather duvet up round her, smiling. “These are a great improvement, too.”
She snuggled back against the pillows. “The legal position? What do you mean? Marry you? Not likely! It’s my castle! Now, go away, I’m tired.”